soulshardwiccan: (Caught in the past)
[personal profile] soulshardwiccan
Most nights, Billy Kaplan sleeps well. He dreams of good times or fantastical places where he has no care about his life or the things he must do. He dreams about old loves or trips spent with his family. He dreams about spending time with his real parents and his real siblings, going to Central Park or Coney Island. He dreams about Wanda and Vision and Tommy, his soul parents and twins. Tommy's polite and Wanda and Vision are happy as the two play on the lawn of Avengers Mansion with Cassie Lang and Teddy Altman. All of them are young, and all of them are best friends.

There are other nights where his dreams aren't so pleasant. He doesn't tell anyone about these nights, but he's certain Rebecca Kaplan and Stephen Strange know about them, and he knows for certain that Teddy does, though he's never mentioned it to him. Those nights he finds himself floating several feet above his bed, or he'll navigate his way across the room, only to step on shattered glass from when the light bulbs blew out.

Those nights, he finds himself in twisted memories, where his nightmares play on his deepest fears.

He's fifteen again, and running from a group of tormentors. He smiled at someone who he thought liked him, but he's wrong. In the back of his mind he's chanting Iwantogetaway with more ferocity than he's managed in years, but there's no familiar buzz of his magic wrapping him in a blanket of safe familiarity. Soon, he's on the floor, the pain from their punches and kicks exploding across his body. He cries out to them to stop, but they don't listen. He tries chanting again, to cause the sky to light up in a show of electric fury, but nothing happens.

He's bound in a dingy laboratory, captured by an Initiative Scientist who captured Teddy and his new friends Karolina and Xavin. His ears burn where sound inhibitors have been brutally implanted, letting him hear every sound except his own voice. He knows he's casting the incantations correctly, but he can't hear the words, and for the first time since the boy who could turn reality on its head came into his powers feels truly helpless.So he chants. He spits and he curses, he begs and pleads for it to stop, but nothing does.

He usually wakes up then and feels along his ears to try and find the implants and rip them out, but he finds nothing. Nothing except holes along his ears where they were held in and scar tissue where the wounds couldn't heal correctly. It was an idle fantasy of his to get piercings one day, but no longer.

He goes back to sleep, and the nightmares return. He's in a prison camp in another dimension and this time there's no sound. Nothing. He's out again, but this time he's watching Teddy die as Kree and Skrulls lay waste to Manhattan to get the son of Mar-Vell and Princess Anelle. He's in Latveria and hoping beyond hope that his team isn't killed as they help stop Loki and Norman Osborn from laying siege to Asgard. Before his eyes, Ares decapitates his twin as he's forced to watch by Moonstone. He's in Mutant Town, and Dr. Doom kills Cassie Lang before him. Nathaniel Richards tears Vision in half before morphing into Kang the Conqueror. His mother tries to comfort him and his brother, but the Scarlet Witch fades away, too. His mind taunts him and images of Hellbeasts and Mephisto play before him, threatening to come back to claim the soul shards that are he and his twin brother. He's in London, freeing people from ice, but the ice spreads, encases him, as well. Loki comes and taunts him before striking the pillar he's inside, shattering him to pieces.

He always wakes up, panicked and hoping for sound, for reassurance, but it's becoming harder to ignore. He needs help, he knows. But no one would understand. How do you tell someone the horrors someone in this life endures without the go-ahead to be thrown in the Funny Farm? No. He'll deal with this himself.
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soulshardwiccan: (Default)
Billy Kaplan

August 2012

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